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look at you with your new wave haircut... [07 May 2006|04:27am]
[ mood | anxious ]

hmm it seems that i don't really have anything to say. i'm just kind of blank lately...anxious all the time. i've been reading Elizabeth Wurtzel books for days.

5 fell| like a bad star

you make me nervous. hella hella nervous. [02 Mar 2006|11:36pm]
[ mood | calm ]

where have i been? In L.A. but i'm home now. it feels kind of weird to be home. everything was surreal once again and it was harder to leave than ever. lots of shopping, lots of thai food, and lots of love. lots of gravy train too! i don't have much to say as of late, as you might have noticed. in a way i feel like things are a little stagnant, i haven't created or painted or photographed in a very long time. mostly it's been going from paycheck to paycheck and trying to plan. all in all, things are good. i feel realized.

oh. p.s. if anyone feels like seeing the movie "battle in heaven"....don't. 


making faces in the Thai restaurant


♥ ♥ ♥

6 fell| like a bad star

update? [17 Jan 2006|11:54pm]
[ mood | tired ]

sooo i haven't been in the world of LJ for awhile. here's what's been going on... a whole lot of nothing. work, laundry, and sleep...oh yeah and hello kitty on gamecube. sorry for my lack of being in the social scene.

 

i want to keese yo face Collapse )

18 fell| like a bad star

i might throw things. [16 Dec 2005|12:18pm]
[ mood | sleepy/sick ]

i came home from work early today because i'm feeling a bit not good. i walk in and my little brother and his 3 friends are in the living room playing video games and being sooooo loud. i asked him "why are you home???" and i forgot that they get out early this friday to start christmas break. :( i'm so sleepy and not feeling good and they are soooo loud, i can't even read my book...meanies.

i think having two jobs is starting to wear and tear on me. but i need the jobs. awhile back i applied for a call center to make 10$ an hour and i called for an interview and they said someone would call me shortly to talk again....ok that was like early november. now i'm getting emails telling me re-call for the first interview!? now i have two jobs, but i know at this one i'm gauranteed 40 hours a week at 10$ an hour. oh what to do, what to do? but if i call back and re-do this and they give me the run around again...hmm.

ok i'm going to eat pasta vegetable soup and take a nap.

i want to drive to california for christmas...i really really do.

17 fell| like a bad star

let's do this like a prison break i wanna see you scream and shake [20 Nov 2005|06:14pm]
[ mood | icky headache ]

i actually ventured out of my house this weekend. friday night Lisa called and we went to her house with Ramona and Trevis and after an amazingly difficult attempt at dying Ramona's hair in Lisa's little bathroom we just sat around and talked and drank sparkling grape juice out of wine glasses because we're just that cool. later Trevis told us stories about the people of Ecuador and their green felt. all in all a spectacular time was had.

last night i saw my darling Natalie and we spent some much needed time together and went to applebee's and then to the movies to see harry potter. i liked it, they left so much out from the book though. we saw Nicole and Lou and Terry there too.

i sadly slept all day today and will probably be up all night, i'm going to venture out to the bookstore and maybe go get some canvas. i've aquired some new paintbrushes from my grandma and i want to paint tonight.

end the most boring entry ever.

9 fell| like a bad star

don't change your name, keep it the same for fear I may lose you again [01 Nov 2005|01:27am]
[ mood | sick and tired ]

so my car was broken into today, all my cds gone. i know it could have been worse and it's all "material posessions" but i like to think of my music as much more than a material posession.

our time was all so surreal, i swear i'm going to wake up and be 17 again, starting over. i cried and told him that if we didn't have a garden state moment i was going to cry all the way home. he makes me so surreal.

so this is what makes life divine...Collapse )

7 fell| like a bad star

get those faggots off the stage... [30 Oct 2005|08:19pm]
[ mood | tired eyes ]

MSI was the funnest show i've ever been too. laughs and good times were had all around. you're not allowed to take your alcohol out of the bar and boyface had just bought a beer when Lyn-Z and Jimmy walked by us to get on stage so i made him leave le beer. probably the best stage show i've seen.

airports are the saddest place in the world

i like my coffee black just like my metalCollapse )

8 fell| like a bad star

it's a mad house my faithless bride [19 Oct 2005|12:46am]
[ mood | amused ]

happy birthday to meeee beetches!

so i'm now two decades old...

Erin came in tonight and we hung out like we used to do every day before she went to Tech so she took me to dinner and movie for my birthday. we saw Elizabethtown, I liked it a lot.

this is me being excited

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

21 fell| like a bad star

this big girl is so very small and fragile after all [10 Oct 2005|02:27am]
[ mood | contemplative ]

i'm still afraid of my car, so i just let Tia drive it.

do you ever realize how lucky you are sometimes? but you are scared to realize how lucky you are because it will be taken away. i do sometimes, i get so scared to appreciate what i really have for fear of losing it.

"I kept imagining the end, the despair I would suffer when it came, and it made any happiness I had in the present seem not merely ephemeral, but doomed. Because the happier I allowed myself to be now, the more miserable I would be later" -Elizabeth Wurtzel

agh, i know this sounds so whiny but i can't help thinking it.

8 fell| like a bad star

hey child, stay wilder than the wind [06 Oct 2005|09:45pm]
[ mood | frustrated yet excited ]

Monday I talked to Katie-bear and she informed me that she had an appointment on Tuesday with the doctor to schedule inducing the pregnancy hopefully on the 10th and that she would call me when she left the office. Well, Wednesday morning I still hadn't heard from her. I came home and took a nap and woke up to a voicemail from her husband saying "Katie was admitted to the hospital yesterday afternoon because her blood pressure is seriously high" and other medical symptons that I didn't quite understand but I figured were serious. I drove up there and spent most of the evening/night in her room. I came home to sleep and planned to go back in the morning. Her sister in law called me at 8:00 and said that they had to do an emergency c-section because the baby's pulse was almost non exsistent and Katie was sick. Soooo by the time I got there she was back in her room and she and the baby are both fine. I am now a god-mother :)
The only person I called was Adam because I only had his number, but for the rest of you co-workers and wonderful people here are the statistics:

Marian Lena Craig
4 pounds 10 oz. 17 inches
born at 7:39 a.m.
October 6th 2005

She is sooo cute. I was worried about why she is so tiny, because she's not premature and the doctor said it probably had to do with the high blood pressure and that her umbilical cord was wrapped around her stomach and her neck (which was why the pulse was so low). Katie is probably going to be in the hospital until Sunday, she can have visitors but she's really really worn out but if anyone want's to talk to her call me or Jon because she's not in a regular room yet so there is no phone.

In other news I succesfully drove my car to the hospital Wednesday night but today on the way home I stalled out twice on airline. The worst thing was when I tried to go up the incline to my neighborhood, the car stalled and rolled back into the intersection and I just could not get it up the incline, people were zooming past me and it was no fun so I'm just going to not drive to far until I totally get down the stopping and starting up again thing. standard transmission makes me cry.

9 fell| like a bad star

ex girlfriends....black jettas [02 Oct 2005|07:15pm]
[ mood | productive ]

let's go through the history of my car in just the two weeks that i've had it.
1. Mom backs into her car with my car
2. Car doesn't start, try to jump battery, battery is dead
3. Replace battery, which took allllll day
now i'm in trying to get back in the habit of driving a standard and it's not going to well. i have to take it over to best buy on wednesday to have them put a cd player in and i assure you that i will probably wreck or come very close to wrecking it.

ok so i'm dying my hair today, i bought a new color that is supposed to enhance the violet and i'm scared it's going to come out weird...we shall see.

2 fell| like a bad star

let's not forget ourselves good friend [25 Sep 2005|10:06pm]
[ mood | exhausted ]

I think I overworked myself today. I did a 30 minute cardio workout and then took Paco on a walk that was about a mile, when I came home I felt really sick, my mom said I tried to do too much in one day in the heat, it doesn't really sound like a lot though. hopefully the more I keep up with it, the less my body will feel like it wants to collapse. I just feel really tired now and my pillows look so inviting.

Last night we had a hurricane party. that includes me, Amber, Spencer, Jason, Mykie, Robin, Aaron, and another kiddo I didn't know. When we arrived they had just finished watching 3 hours of Bjork dvd's, sadly I missed that. so then it mostly consisted of us watching jumanji and the addams family movies and running through Robin's apartment doing flips onto the giant cushion...I did not partake of this, but I have pictures. you start to run out of ideas when your stuck in the house all day and part of it without power. Jason started doing his impression of the hardcore kids and how they dance at shows and almost kick everyone in the face, ah good times.

I feel like I have nothing of interest to say lately, I feel totally blank but at the same time random thoughts are going through my head and i'm finding it hard to focus on things, and there are a lot of things I need to be focusing on.

shimmy pow powCollapse )

2 fell| like a bad star

my aim is true [14 Sep 2005|02:08am]
[ mood | discontent ]

I wish I could be the person I'm aiming to be. I'm tired of working part time jobs and not going to school, I really really want to go back to school and sadly you must work to get there. I'm ready to do something, to really do something. When I look at the person I was a year or two ago, I wonder what happened. I painted, and drew, and photographed all the time and I was comfortable with who I was, I thought I was intelligent and happy and really happy with where I was going. Now here I am looking for jobs and putting a hold on school and being completely boring and unstimulated every day. It's like I did a complete 180 on my life. I feel like I have a completely different mind. I start to think that maybe I am just lame and boring and there really was nothing there in the first place. my whole life has become monotone. instead of having conversations that interest me with people that interest me and trying to be introspective, I go day to day in a dull routine and mostly spending a lot of time by myself and being an insomniac. This time I really feel like I'm stuck on a track I can't get off of. I think other people can see through me too, and I hate feeling vulnerable. I show myself in one manner to hide the other one to keep from feeling vulnerable, so in turn I just decide to be by myself which only makes it worse. It's a vicious cycle, one that I hope and pray breaks very soon. I feel so anxious and fearful, I feel like I don't even know who I am.

so I listen to Elvis Costello

4 fell| like a bad star

help! do it! [01 Sep 2005|02:08pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]

The hurricane has hit New Orleans harder than most expected as well as many other cities along the coast. Thousands of people who found refuge in the super dome are now having to leave because of extensive damage, no electricity, and flooding. Most of them have no home to go back to, and many are stuck in their homes with no escape. Thousands are feared dead and what we can find out is limited because of the immense flooding. If you can help in any way, even if it's just donating old clothes or canned goods, even just volunteering some of your time, please visit the links below. You can even help here at home, there are an estimated 40,000 evacuees in shreveport/bossier alone.

"Dead Bodies Floating In The Water"
"At Risk for West Nile Virus, Typhoids, Snake Bites, Bug Bites"
"No Clean Water-You cant see where you are walking"
"Toilets do not work"
"No Food, Dead Animals From Farms"

As well as exenstive damage to buildings, homes, and other property. Anything you can give will be a gift.

https://www.redcross.org/

http://www.nola.com/


and if you happen to be of the selfish type, think about this, all the devastation to oil rigs in the gulf is going to make gas prices jump up. so if you want them to go back down, donate and help out suckas!

and! if you happen to live here in shreveport/bossier come to the show!

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

like a bad star

I had my doubts little girl I'm in love with something real [20 Aug 2005|10:37pm]
[ mood | weeee ]

mhmm so things are pretty boring...i was just dancing around my room.

i'm putting in an application to be a barrista. when i'm asked "hey what do you do?" i can say "i'm a barrista beetches!"

i think i've been in the house tooooo long.

xox

4 fell| like a bad star

do the truffle shuffle [16 Aug 2005|03:38pm]
[ mood | anxious ]

ok so the family visit turned out to not be that bad. except when they asked me to take the family portrait and no one wanted to listen to me when i was trying to tell them to move out or position them, because it was hot and they wanted to hurry, so it looks like 15 people crammed into a picture. i think my grandpa was really happy to have the whole family together for this too, so that was important.

i thought i was going to get a car, we checked it out and decided to get it but doren hasn't called me back about it and it's been like 2 weeks. i'm saddend... other than that i have absolutely no life and nothing to update about. i really want to go see march of the penguins.

 

the fam bamCollapse )

9 fell| like a bad star

clean out vivienne westwood In my galliano gown [11 Aug 2005|12:20am]
[ mood | missing something ]

my grandfather is turning 80 this weekend. that means my whole family on my mom's side will be here. madness i tell you. we're having dinner at the officer's club in the magnolia room, so that means we all have to look classy and i'm happy because i think my outfit is hot. my grandma wanted me to take some of the old pictures of my grandpa and touch them up in photoshop and size them so we can put them on the table. i had the best time going through all kinds of pictures from the 1920's and 30's and some even earlier than that that my great grandma kept.

i'm still totally jobless and hating it.

 

eighty yearsCollapse )

15 fell| like a bad star

your flirt finds me out smittens me with hope [11 Jul 2005|09:22pm]
[ mood | melancholy ]

i feel completely unstimulated. everything bores me. i've done nothing for the past 2 days except read jim morrison's diaries and watch italian films. then i go back to sleep.

i've been watching the baby of one of the receptionist girls at my mom's work, she gives me 100$ week. but i thought this was only going to be a two week thing because i applied at our verternarian's office for a full time job. but it looks like i'm babysitting again this week. i hope the vet calls me back soon. i've decided to take a semester off from school, and it's not really my favorite decision but i need to save money. and i've been wanting to transfer schools anyway because well, LSU's fine arts department is not all that spectacular, it might as well not even exist :/ i love school and i love being in college, i just don't like being in college at LSUS. so my plan (hopefully) is to save up some money and transfer somewhere where i'll be happy. i don't know, i feel like a chump for taking the semseter off, i guess to me in a way it looks like i'm quitting. ugh. nothing i've thought about lately has made me particularly happy.

The night is young & full of rest
I can't describe the way she's dressed
She'll pander to some strange requests
Anything that you suggest
Anything to please her guest
-Jim Morrison

i miss you dollface xox

6 fell| like a bad star

she'll always hide behind a star [25 Jun 2005|08:16pm]
[ mood | bored ]

last night i went downtown to artspace with, ryan, lisa, and marylin for the "science fiction double feature" they were showing barbarella and rocky horror picture show we missed most of barbarella though. we totally got up and timewarped and threw the appropriate props and did the call back lines. major fun. everyone there was really cool. between films we had discussions on them haha. a few people even dressed up. we all just sat on the floor in beanbags or chairs it was great. i'd always known about artspace but hadn't actually gone downtown to visit it yet. i will definitely be going back. i hadn't seen marylin since westside story at the beginning of my senior year when we met because we discovered our mutual love for david bowie among other odd things we shared, but last night we all hung out and she's still so cool, one of those people you think "why don't i hang out with this person more?" i need to spend more time with ryan and lisa too.

so guys we should make it a plan to watch cheesy B science fiction movies every weekend.

5 fell| like a bad star

old friends become old strangers [23 Jun 2005|12:42am]
[ mood | blank ]

ever since i've come home i've been feeling numb. everything seems to be passing me by, my opportunities just seem to keep slipping away from me. am i supposed to just keep getting a sample of what it feels like to have things go right and then take it away? things have become so reduntant and i just feel so out of it. i seem to be just walking in some kind of apathetic dream that i can't wake up from. i'm not exactly happy, but i'm not exactly sad either, it's like i'm stuck in a numb state. i've been writing a lot today, 3 pages in my journal of all my recent concerns and states of mind. i'm stuck in the same monotonous rut. i need a change, a good one. i just want things to go the way i planned them to for once instead of thinking i'm almost there and then losing it. i can't seem to make sense of this, i can't ever express my honest feelings with small words.

like a bad star

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